When calculating cost

Glancing back and forth at his receipt
It occurs to him
Possibly kinda maybe you can't give back
Possibly you can't return this thing
Its all adverts and no product
All marketing and sales
We had hoped you'd buy into it they said
It had become an array of possibles
Situations and piles of hypothetics
Twisted arms, broken teeth, raunchy lyrics
Pink thong stretched over overstretched
Bad ass ass ass ass attitudes
And pardon the expression
Pardon the trangression
But boy shorts stretched over a gorrilla mask
With a pink mesh parting the the lips
Like a rascist tendency it sits waiting
A sleeper cell waiting for its trigger
To go from eggplant to melanzan to moolie
I'd buy into it he says
Sure thing nigger a voice says
From between the pink vastness of their own lost causes
Sure thing nigga ga GA GA GA GA GA

See its the er versus ah



Jireh. ¤

Lots

Lots of places to hide a dirty bone.
To slice a neck
Faster than carlito's litle homey caught it
Another is added to the list

I'm on the list she says
He looks at the list through a gloryhole
Everything is sex through this hole
Apparently its all we know

Obviously its everything we thought
Basically its the worst time ever
Essentially we've created this beast
Seemingly when you wished it was over

Middle ground is for half steppin

Center stage
I wanted to ask you
Out loud
So I could confirm
That the words left my lips

Am I him?
Is she you?
Who are they?
What's so funny?

Back and forth
Ripping thru the pages
I'm trying to find my lines
But they all read
like acronyms and palindromes
Standing for symmetry
And lots of abbreviated nothings

We stare at the picture a bit longer
The words drip a bit
You wipe them
Casually like a runny nose
All these are flaws he tells me
Learn to consider the absolute
Along with the median.

I'm like paint another one
And you can't stop telling me how amazing it is
I tell him
I never offered medians
Just the comfort of extremes
Just the cycle of in out down up
Middle was to be spit shit and fucked on
Never had any use in these parts

So if you see the middle
Tell him he can eat a dick
He replies.
Why you wanna take to this party and breathe
I'm dyin to leave

Non communique

They've turned the transmitter off
No more blip every 30 seconds
To let you know where we are
On any given night there was that beacon

No more whispering in the ear
About anything anyways
The directions become more inherent
Instinct or instruction nature or nurture

Like the little cockeyed man says
No more leaky holes
His one good ear turned into that
Large all catching bucket. Listening.

Back

Enviously I observed,
The way your back was so plenty slick
The way you revert
Your disgust fast turning over
Like cake batter
Onto itself for a good rising
For a good leavening

You are a good girl
Just in denial
Running in a circle
to escape the meaning you seek
To bring them all them to their knees.
To bring them to that everloving
Point of submission

Yes you are sweet pussy pauline
Yes prettiest girl in the world
Anything you need princess
Daddys head spins in sheer denial
Watching you repeatedly
Putting that bit in their mouths
His only regret that you couldn't enslave him
He wanted to fuck you
But in a different way
The way a friend looks at ones suitors
With quiet envy
Watching the grease stains
On your hypothetical bedsheets
In your hypothetical palindrome circular
Backsliding style

Hollers

Good ratty mouse mouse

She was in the wrong spot
At the right time
To have the wrong thing
Come right her way

A lifetime tucking crumbs
Drinking muddy rusty
Ducking iron worms
Fucking like a madwoman

Things take seconds to start
Hours to find
Seconds to slow down
Hours to end

She took her final moments
To ponder her reality
How she was niether her or there
On the the humanity tip

Its crazy

Its pure crazy
To think of all these forces
The weak one
The grave one
The accelerated one
They teeter they totter

In the core of the reactor there is calm
Face down in that pool
You find your very answers
Staring back up at you
Attracting and repelling

In the reflection of the pond
They swim freely
Bouncing here and there
Debating their relevance
Pondering their impact

But there is calm inertia
Between the lions teeth
There lie the most inert of gums
To observe the tongue in action
Some might call it tumultuous

I call it inertia
I call it watching the house burn
Seeing the same questions in her reflection
Kissing the memories
That attract and yet repel.

All these things

She laughed
When I told her about the wires
And a little old man
That must have a master map

To her it was that simple
And I never knew her
To her it was that simple
And she was never really mine

It was all smiles
And gorgeously cruel laughter
Dragging my projector
Refusing to be somebodys lapdog

To her it was so easy
She was never here or there
To her it was all dismissable
And she ignored all these things

I was all saucers eyes
In utter disbelief at the news
The howl and yelp of that blue collar
Is what really got that goat

I never really had you did I
Such a young fawn
Your belief made me a nonbeliever
Your truth revealed my lie
Your tears revealed my cowardice
Your gaze swept under my rug

It can be that simple
Some guys are just that good
Nothing else to them
But the honey graham cracker
Glass of cold milk
I appear refreshingly naked under the table.

All they have got

It takes all he's got
To remove his shoes
I'm not comfortable anywhere
He reveals to his reflection
In a down pillow's muffled tone

To believe is a gift
To trust is a treasure
To enter is a privelege
Disbelief is the norm
Cynicism is the savior
Passivity is the answer

Actually

I had made it
Formed from the blood of my own thoughts
I held it
And debated it uses.
The way a lady can look at a placenta
And wonder what else
What else could I do with this
Mess
Bloody
Tangle
Of organic circuitry
A facial
A meal
A special place
In your womb bitch
Where I hung my hat.

I read that the number 6
Even as she seems
would be the devil
And my countdown wouldn't last
as long as hoped
Or expected.

She asked me what I read
Anyways
Irregardless
Of what I had studied
And practiced
Complete disregard for my extensive knowledge
In the fine areas of alcohol consumption
Amd cheap trickin...

She wanted to know what I had read
So I showed her it
Illegible as blood vessels tend to be
My copy of final call
The tabloid section of the post and
An old outdated book by rollo may
About why we do as we do...
She ate it all up.
Every loving spoonful.

Nobody could tell

Nobody ever knew because
the kid couldn't tell
Couldn't dare to mention
All he wanted from life was his teeth
Not the fame
Not the notoriety
As the kid kid candy freak
Back in the precandy freak glory days
Shiny white placards
That beamed responsibility across a room
Or screamed
I am ready
Confident
Optimistic
And taken care of
Like tiny white cue cards
That people would look into your mouth
And read good things about the nice
Brown skin boy
Where he's been
Who he will be
And why nobody has taken care of him
Why he never took care of them
Or why he never wanted them
In the first place

Sad but truthy truth

Sad but true
The overall state of the mens
The sections get smaller
The hems rise
Until you find your slacks have
Become your long awaited apron strings

Or disgustingly gagagaragantuan
Its either gorillas or bunny rabbits

Steak or string beans
Boeuf or haricot verts
Africa or south of france
Which aren't really so far from each other
On your plate they chill quite close
Near enough to share their vapors
And we all eat them in unison
Admit it or not
So we all drop it...
Because nobody knows how to weild a steak knife
Nobody can cut that genderous sexuality mark
These days
These days
The tendency is to meander
Stay snug in skateboards
Slumber parties
The single simple life
A slackers nightmarish dream of heaven
No motion this way or that way
This place will have you wetting the very bed
You are trying to fuck her and him in

But even the girlies love the slight light sight
Of that denim diaper
They looked stunned when the baby cries
Throws his tantrum
And shits on their lily white dreams

Smack that baby I say
And make him pay for his own ear candling
Smack that baby
And make him cook his own dinner

Drip drip drip black black black

Fuck was it lady?
That he had all them teeth?
They way he filled that mouth up
Made you feel it up your nose
Made the eyes water

Because I thought I had you

His hair?
His nappy wild brooklyn hair?
His knowledge of paul simon?
His parisian connections

Because I thought I had you

His nice clothes
Enunciated vocal ability
His fucking blacker skin?
His penchance for being a jerkoff?

Because I wanted to have you so bad
But I could never be him...

Still.
Thought I had you.
Missed you.
Fuck you.
Hollers

Presence

Sometimes
I could just walk up
And place them all between
Your skull
Line your face with it
Presence
Of which you have so much
But use so little
Like so many things
Turns you into ones own worst enemy
Ones own cursed memory
Of let downs
To the point of monetary compensation
As if
As if
That had ever done it
Plant your feet
Once
For once
Be able to say
Here I am
I am here
With full certainty

I know this
Because I store my head
In my ass
Just as easily
Sometimes

But

But in actuality it is not love; it is a form of anti-love. It has its
genesis in a parental failure to love and it perpetuates the failure. It
seeks to recieve. It nourishes infantilism rather than growth. It works
to trap and constrict rather than liberate. Ultimately it destroys
rather than builds relationships and it destroys rather than builds
people...

The road less traveled
By scott peck
Check it out

Begging the pardon

Begging you pardon miss
But somewhere
In all that hair I seemed
To have misplaced my nose
Deep inside the amber locks and
Earthen nappiness
I lost my shnoz...

Like
Honey
Twigs
Roses
Honeydew
Honeysuckle
Babys breath
Sensimilla
Sweat
You
And
Me

Just like honey

Ask me now

Ask me no questions
I tell you no lies
From betwixt your thighs
That was the motto

It was a military style
Of truth be tolding....
Don't ask don't tell
Just keep it moving...

All the petit oiseaus
All over my big lonely branch
A different tale for each
Pecking away as they pleased.

But ask me now sweet bird
I spin you a tale thick and sturdy
But really transparent
At the same time

All the more tensile
All the more viscous
Because its all the most true baby
So ask me now

Wall street english

Do you speak english he asked
Over hunched shoulders
Swarthy face and mangey hands
Yes I speak wall street english

I step out off the boat
With strong euro's in my left hand
Crusty baguette in my right
Fuck english, I speak wall street english

Came to him

It came to him it did,
The way a country will decide for another
Your citizens are starving
I caught the razor edge of those eyes all right
You have an epidemic
and are in need of good christian pity
Only the lily white eyeballs of our mistrust
Can set you and they right...

I wondered who had made me him
That guy, that miserably happy go lucky guy
With the full hardcover manual
Of he she sucks and why

But nonetheless I was him
Here now forever
You are the judged
And I'm that condescending mutherfucker

Rhonda

I'm so sick
That I'm scared to call your doctor
Need some rhonda
Help help me rhonda
Do me first rhonda
Help me out sweety miss fonda
I do my jumping jacks
Like nothin's up
The shy young heterosexual
Taking the dance class seriously
At such an young age
Nothings up I'm just waiting for my credits
And waiting for my partner,
Her names rhonda la fonda
She's athletic
I'm apathetic
I'm seeing boobs and spandex
But I keep my eyes focused on ms fonda
So as not to sweat it...

I hope you came

I hope you met her there
At that supernova of a moment,
And she couldn't decide
To kill kick or cry
Slap spill or slither
Roll glide yaw or thrust

I say all this
Because I could swear
I saw my semen crusted heart
On your kitchen floor
When I came to pick up my nightstand
Not knowing
just how many people
Had dibs on that one said stand

But she did
And you came
All over my sweet
Pussy farty hearty
And there was no
Wet nap cleanup cloth
Just a dirty porno booth
Of a floor

While she thrusted and barrel rolled
Changing her oil all over that big dick
Her jet engines swinging in your face

I mean its like you said...
How could I not?

Actually

I had made it
Formed from the blood of my own thoughts
I held it
And debated it uses.
The way a lady can look at a placenta
And wonder what else
What else could I do with this
Mess
Bloody
Tangle
Of organic circuitry
A facial
A meal
A special place
In your womb mummafuck
Where I hung my hat.

I read that the number 6
Even as she seems
would be the devil
And my countdown wouldn't last
as long as hoped
Or expected.

She asked me what I read
Anyways
Irregardless
Of what I had studied
And practiced
Complete disregard for my extensive knowledge
In the fine areas of alcohol consumption
Amd cheap trickin...

She wanted to know what I had read
So I showed her it
Illegible as blood vessels tend to be
My copy of final call
The tabloid section of the post and
An old outdated book by rollo may
About why we do as we do...
She ate it all up.
Every loving spoonful.
Love that girl dammit.

And when I click this button

You will implode.
Just here in this area,
Between your head and heart
In that funny space
You were in last time
he kissed you
And it felt real
And new and raw and tasty
And you swore
That next time
You would pickle,
preserve and purify this thing
Condense it, create a reduction
As to focus it
Where it should go
Into his bleeding heart
watch it as it implodes
Go through this.
Notice its elasticity
Frame by frame
I click this button,
You smile my way.

Who is kevin finnerty

Slightly bandaged
He awaits recovery
Embarassed by his nurse
In debted to her
His eyes roll and he slowly accumulates
A mental hospital bill
An ever growing tab

You might wonder the point
Of a morphine drip
Why they might wonder
Who kevin finerty really is...
Who am I
Where am I going
Why offer such a thing
Of such narcotic intoxication
Why smile then look away
Gliding that knife to and fro
Over that angelfood
Like jesus parting the good from soso
Like the poor from the indebted.

You might even ask yourself...

7thand40th part dos

He walked past a little place
A small portal of undoing.
Remembering a slight tatter of cloth,
The beginning of a frayed edge
A hint of the word threadbare...

The smell of hustled weed,
Elevator grease,
And muslin flooded his face
Janitors, hipsters, chatty katthy colonopin ingestions

Then to old coke weilding tree trunks of men
It was all coming to an opened ended circle
A reason to keep looking over your shoulder
Motivation to keep ones feet on the diagonal

Spilled suede in my wine she did...
And the kid still has the shoes to prove it
Looking back he wonders
Without the shoes
Would it have happened?
Without the scars,
Can you really prove u went to war?

He remains
Looking into love and romance
On a shallow angle of entry
Avoiding the tangential
Embracing the radial.

CAMELT

She passed me a note
Sexysidewayslike
Her eyes followed it across the table into my notebook
Inside my adams apple
Under my chin and tongue
It was a whispery kind of note
The kind you'd rather read by candlelight

In reponse to my note
She folded her hands up and bound them with tying twine, potpourri, and
some little hearts
Passed them to me in this little origami of a dragon
With two broken wings

In reponse to my note which read as follows...

What the fuck do you want from me?
Why are you following me?
Do I know you?
What is it you're expecting?

And like an echo here came her note
Soaked in saliva and other viscous delicious.
Her response:

Concerted acute mental emotional love torture.

I fucking died right there.
Her note jammed into my adams apple
Her saliva was indeed
Just the cuban necktie I was looking for

Hollers

Unfold

It felt as if he unloaded his shoulders of a great weight.
The 400 lb gorilla we love to like to hate.
It was roaming a foreign land
As big as it is
As it was
You'd expect much difficulty
Hiding behing the thin rice paper strips of self doubt
But it had the power to hide itself
Making its own surroundings become the very fabric it hid itself in
Hiding in plain sight...
It would hide one night more
Stay way away one more night

Needled and threads

He walked past a little place
A small portal of undoing.
Remembering a slight tatter of cloth,
The beginning of a frayed edge
A hint of the word threadbare...

Fabric on his chest pulled tight
An improper drpery at best
Cock surety made the man
Or so he thought
Or so he imagined

She looks over at the inspiration board
Divining the reason for the season
He so far away
Out of sight
Hard to find

She in love with rugged user friendliness
He in love with a concept
They write love notes on falling leaves
And trade kisses on forcibly weeping willows

Hoofarted

I didn't know the man
What was it he she it
Hidden behing mussed ethiopian hair
A greasy desperate look to round off the deal...
Gooseneck adams apple to boot
With such exhaustion
Such darting
Left to right and back to forth
As eyes tend to do
On the street these days.

Who killed the girl he asked me
I just looked at him.
The way you look
When somebody asks....

Face

Measured on the scale
Of ships launched
I could only account for one

A doomed vessel
A small victory
In exchange for overall defeat

But not by explosion
The submarine was destined for an un doing
Of small explosions, internal chaos.

The quietness of a ship
As it approaches sea floor
But with nobody to hear it come to rest.

Does it really stop? Does it?
At the bottom of your ocean
It lies trapped, sealed, and ghastly.

One man's face
Is anothrmans coral
Home to all sorts of bright lurky things
We love him.
Jireh -

In a way its good for balance

Drip
Drip
The revelations ooze out
The face keeps moving while the mouth
Stages its hunger strike
The feet keep moving while the legs rotate
Counterclock wise
The spoon spins in the bowl
Like the time you told her you loved her.
And she let you tell her.
And you let the words drip out.
Saving your emotions for a book of haiku
Haiku baby you screamed
She snickered god bless you

But she didn't know
The shoes were gyrating
The medicine wiggling in the doctors cabinet
While his pen danced across the
Pink pages of your face
Written easy for reference.
He wrote the most violent of sonnets
She didn't even see the ink drip down you cheeks
She never knew the dichotomy....

White socks under tuxedo pant
Sweatpants under power tie
Slippers under evening gown
Leopard print scully under my thinking cap.

Jireh -